I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
