Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
