I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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