sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
