I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
