So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
