ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
the liver wants what the liver wants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
