Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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