i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
