I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
