I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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