i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
