is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
