I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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