She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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