I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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