the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize