I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
