Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
