I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize