I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
