whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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