two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize