she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
