i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
