I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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