It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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