some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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