You work out of a Hotel?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
