My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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