I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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