I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Success! We fucked roommates!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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