I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
