you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
