i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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