This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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