The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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