Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
