you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
