Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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