so explain again why im purple
no
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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