my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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