Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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