Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
