Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
