So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
