i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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