someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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