so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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