she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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