We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize