Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize