um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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