Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
only if we run a train.
done.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's official drugs can't kill me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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