i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
