The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
