Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
